The Service was Beautiful / Bellah Sparxxx


I died a month and a half ago, laying on the kitchen floor. Needle stuck in arm, and with a head that should’ve been sore. Guess I took more than before. Where did I go wrong? It’s like, I couldn’t get close enough to it, so I just had to go and mainline it. It’s kind of like a lover’s body: you just want to rip it open and crawl inside of it. Words like “Enough” didn’t exist, they could have never survived. Words like those rarely came alive. Like “Limit”, or “Quit”, or simple words strung together such as “Give Up That Shit”. And I’m laying lifeless because of it. Laying lifeless for my fucking vocabulary, or lack thereof, laying lifeless because I could never get “Enough”. Convincing myself that I was good and I was fine, cause I could still do the manual labor to fully supply this love of mine. But, like most loves, there was agony. We had our ups and downs, yet we still thought that we were happy. And then, towards the end, it would give me, like 15 of them. And I, well I would give them my body. I’d let them run and play in my veins and massage my endorphins as they ran down my back, and it’s almost like they knew I loved it…whenever they would do that. But now, my blood sits cold. In a young body with a liver that’s old, and with the ears that heard whenever they were told to just “Stop that shit, and learn to be bold”. And with the mouth that used to tell other’s to mind their own fucking business, now hangs agape in front of friends now subject to witness…me laying lifeless on our kitchen floor. Where did I go wrong, and what for? And as they gather around and start to comment on how to my addiction was true and dutiful, I return to their return, the service…was beautiful.

Poem by Lisa Mende

Marriage ruined my marriage he said as he plopped down
on the seat next to mine
It snowed every night on the sheets of our bed have I met
you before what's your name what's your sign
I'm a thinker a feeler a lover of beauty a needer of 
moments unplanned
matrimony's a stealer it turns lust to duty and makes men
like me feel unmanned
I admit I'm confused do you find that endearing I'm so
easily hurt and I'm shy
I'm not scared of committing I believe in forever do you
believe in a love at first sight
I was so unprepared when I saw you here sitting like a
vision all bathed in white light
Marriage ruined my marriage let me buy you another why
do romance and passion go south?
Boredom's what I disparage need a muse not a mother and
you've got such a kissable mouth
Are your eyes really green they light up when you smile
you're a gypsy you know that? you are
Are you bored or serene let's commune for a while what a
mystery to find you alone in this bar
I take credit for little I'm abounding in blessing every
move has been spiritually guided
Karma's smack in the middle so I've stopped second
guessing because my future's already decided
I eat all my food raw and I'm chiefly a Buddhist and I
guess my worst feature is pride
I do yoga I chant and was briefly a nudist and I'm very
in touch with my feminine side
I have known you forever there's a deep soul connection
don't you feel it don't fight it it's real
Every movement you make is a subtle reflection that 
you're feeling the same things that I feel
It's a marriage of convenience we're both well aware, she
was pregnant and I did what was right
So for us there's a lenience and I take special care 
to tell her if I'm not coming home for the night
Tell me all about you I can tell you're artistic it's the 
way that you dress you've got style and panache
I was once that way too but then I got realistic cut my hair
traded stocks now I'm dripping with cash
Are you leaving don't go yet I've just gotten started it's
early and I need your email address
Now I'm grieving we've just met and now we'll be parted I
am dying to feel just a single caress
Put your money away there is no way you're paying I can
write it all off for my taxes you know
Come on honey please stay what's this game you are playing 
sit back down now you know that you don't want to go
Hey another for me you can pour her drink out I decided
that she was too bitchy to stay
She just wasn't that hot got a million like her she can go
fuck herself and she's probably gay.

spelling it out / aralee strange


you enter through the start of something intuitive
it’s what stirs under every starry-eyed experience
lights with a breath you can’t help
the emerging narrative

you need some avid minds around
you need mass illusion and myth
time/space and detox
and in one miracle minute blinding light!
you can can write stuff
you maintain top safe speed momentum
you are all ova that mind reeling what if infusion
rising from uneasy dreams looking for your voice
the eye of unmitigated ramifications

step into the center
shall we dance?

in this corner in all black go-go coda
mouthing the words Out Loud
the one secret life you’ve been missing
boldly going where things are happening one more time

that far downtown

get a Ha-ha to survive the encounters with One Way
suffer all the turn-ons engaged in phony today
relax
be quiet
who teaches you?

teeth on the real
saying grace
all you can see is resistance to the loss blooms at night
the deep breath hands-on muse pool magic hour sayonara
the essence of near intrepid rescues from the crowd

prepare to cave
frame by frame
admit one rude thing
get fiercely unstrung
Trust Jesus

no crybabies

if you’re lucky
bada bing bada bomb
you go mmmmmm
could be happy now