Exploration Deplorations / Grady Thrasher

BP’s Lament

So, we had a blowout under the sea,
A tiny spill in a great big ocean,
No problem for us here at BP,
It’s only oil, why all the commotion? 

But, wait!
How do we solve a problem like our oil spill?
Before it’s fouling everything around!
How do we make the world think
we mean no ill?
Our media team is steady
A handy phrase is ready:
“Such a little bit of oil and so far down.”

It wasn’t our fault, really,
don’t you know that?
Transocean, maybe Halliburton—either or!
Let NOAA estimate the leakage, we’ll just stand pat.
We’re neither worried nor demented;
our liability’s limited!
That’s what we pay and use our lobbyists for!

But, wait!
We better solve the problem of the oil spill
before it drags our profits to the ground.
We tried to stop the spillage with a “Top Kill”;
golf balls just wouldn’t choke that gusher down!
Hey! We’ll just drill another well,
then all will be so swell.
Those beaches will look fine an oily brown.

The Politicians’ Lament 

How do we solve a problem like a BP?
They’re handling offshore drilling like a clown!
They said we’d make a killing
With their fail-safe deep sea drilling,
but now they’re killing all sea life around!
They’ve even set the Gulf ablaze!
(But in the ensuing oily haze,
they’ve kept those campaign payments coming ‘round).

But, wait!
How do we solve a problem like this oil spill--
now that it’s 300 miles around?
Constituents are clamoring for answers!
It’s time for us to climb to higher ground!
We’ll tell BP to pay,
and listen to what we say!
(Like, keep those campaign payments coming ‘round.)

The People’s Lament 

How do we cure a problem like this oil spill
and keep our Gulf shores from turning brown?
How do we keep the sludge away from every beach and marsh and bay?
BP’s hamfisted tries
and politicians’ lies
show only that solutions can’t be found!

There is many a word that we would like to tell them
More than “We’re glad your stock is going down!”
“Your callous pursuit of offshore drilling
has caused such needless wildlife killing!”
“Louisiana’s delta’s not your dumping ground!”
They say BP will pay
--don’t hold your breath for that payday--
while our vital ecosystems choke and drown.


Will Big Oil and government ban such offshore drilling?
They say, “But that’s where oil and gas is”.
Will they ever stop the killing
and restore our marshy grasses?
Not likely. Why?
Their respective points of view
can’t see what’s plain to me and you:
Their heads are too far up each other’s asses!

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