"Morning Sex in the Parking Deck" - Gabe Newman
Morning sex in the parking deck, starts around 2am.
Sex in the elevators, sex in the stairs.
Sex in the cars, sex in the bars.
Sex on the escalator...
Wait! That would hurt.
Don't have sex on escalators.
It just won't work.
Sex in the bathrooms.
Sex on the patio.
Sex in the streets.
Sex just can't be beat.
But, does anybody just have sex in the bedroom anymore?
You bunch of parking deck sex perps!
Morning sex in the parking deck,
It's a trend, I swear to you
An epidemic in fact!
It's hard to grasp
But, morning sex in the parking deck
Can never really last.
Because, as soon as you think it can
The elevator doors open
And, now you have fans
But, you still have to pull up your pants!
Stop having sex in MY parking deck you kids!!!! I'm not here to clean up your condoms, but the cash and cases of beer are much appreciated!
"Morning Sex in the Parking Deck" was read by Gabe Newman at his first Word appearance on May 7. He adds: "inspired by my experience as an 'Undercover Parking Violations Officer' with duties including Parking Deck maintenance...I was fortunate enough to be able to read this to an English Literature class at UGA last year. At the end, one of the students asked, 'I just don't understand what the bag of tortilla chips and the cup of coffee have to do with it'. I said, 'I guess that's what they had for breakfast'!"